Tuesday, June 30, 2009

thoughts on these things

when i saw this video on a friend's blog, i was tempted to skip it. i don't typically watch videos unless they are of my friends embarrassing themselves. but i took a chance on this 4 minutes and i was moved to tears. in the past i might've watched that and identified with some of those cardboard cutouts. but tonight all i could see in their eyes was my own kids and the kids of my friends. i saw lily, i saw oz, i even saw tali. i looked closer and i saw jadon and simeon, zaiah, zeke, and eli. i saw the neighbor girl, and kids from lily's preschool.
i'd never wish any of those afflictions on anyone, but recognize that they are more common than not. and despite my pleading with god, my deep desire to see my kids prosper and thrive, and just be happy, i know that they are not exempt. i know that a popsicle, a hug from me, or a kiss from daddo will not always fix the pain they will experience. i know cuz i myself have felt that pain and each and everyone of my friends has in one way or another.
i know that my kids will grow up and make choices that will potentially impact them or alter them forever. if i dwell on it, its easy to get overwhelmed by fear. i've known no greater hurt or ache than to see my kids in pain. i haven't got an answer, but i can tell you this. i'm so thankful to see the hope and the light i saw in those kids eyes. to know that i'm not alone in laboring, and interceding, and pleading for my children. to know that i know, and love a god that does that too. to know that the kids in that video know that god and have been forever changed by him. and though we aren't exempt from further pain or tragedy, we have a hope. an undying, unchanging, un-yielding hope.
and for that, tonight, i am eternally thankful.

1 comment:

Kristen said...

wow, that is really powerful. i think people tend to forget how we are all broken and in need of a savior. i know a lot of people have trouble with hypocrisy in the church, and yes that does exist, but we have to remember that a church is made up of sinners. and thank God we do have a Savior!