hair bear

well hello little hair bear!

oz finally decides to hold his lil sister!

proud big sister!

tali's first bath

i guess she doesn't love it.

a little labor story... ok its really long.

*contains some slightly graphic content. if you are man, unless you love labor stories, you might want to pass on this one. if not, don't say i didn't warn you. also this is a long post, feel free to skip down where you get into the meat of the story*

once upon a time there was a 25 yr old girl, who after 2 years of wedded bliss found herself with child. now being the young girl she was, she didn't have many friends who had yet had kids themselves. seeing as how she had no younger siblings and had not done much babysitting in her younger years, she really didn't know much about this baby business. therefore as she got bigger and bigger, and people began to question her about how she envisioned her labor, she immediately seized up in fear. labor was, in her eyes, the worst of the five letter words.

her one friend who had gone through it had invited her to be in the room during the birth of her first son. this young girl found it to be terribly beautiful, but also devastatingly frightening. you see, her friend had opted for a 'natural childbirth.'

with the prodding of her one 'experienced' friend she decided to look into this natural childbirth business, and signed up for some childbirth education classes (aka lamaze) with a local known doula. without being overly in your face about it, this doula hypnotized educated this young girl and thousands others into pursuing an epidural free labor.

now did i mention this young girl is a total wimp, has a very low pain tolerance, and really nothing in common with rosie the riveter. she typically takes shortcuts, and cuts corners in all areas. not much about her shouts- 'i'm a bad ass and i wanna have this baby naturally even if i tear to high hell!' in fact when her time finally came, the dr had the nerve to announce that 'this is gonna be the first baby i'm gonna deliver that'll be bigger than the mom!' the labor came and went and with the help of her one friend who acted as a doula, and her amazing husband who literally took every single guttural breath with her...

she did it.

naturally.

and it. hurt. like. hell.

fast forward a year later. she's pregnant again. this time she's feeling more inclined to consider other options after a long recovery including words like hemorrhoids and fissures.
yet her time comes, and she gets to the hospital, and 2 hrs later her son is born. her joy is overshadowed by the fact that she is getting sewn up for an hour as they consider whether or not she needs a catheter because she tore all the way up to her urethra. in the end she leaves the hospital a mother of two with a very sore geeg.

there you have it. one happy family with one boy and one girl. the young girl isn't so young anymore and decides if she is going to have another baby she should do it soon, cuz 30 is knocking down her door. after much consideration, she takes the plunge and is ecstatic to find out her last baby will in fact be, a baby girl. this time, she knows one thing for sure: she will not suffer... she will, at all costs, get the epidural.

this is her account of how she experienced a completely different childbirth experience...

the midwives told me i had to get to the hospital as soon as i knew i was in labor to ensure time enough to get the epidural. a week prior to tali's birth i was sure i was in labor and going to have the baby. all week i waited and wondered. finally monday (the 26th) came around. i had the feeling again- this is going to happen soon. monday afternoon i went on a long walk and promptly came home and had the ria. after dinner, we put the kids to bed and i went to the bathroom again. not normal. i sat down to watch tv and began timing my contractions. they were about every 5 mins, but not necessarily increasing. (i had been having contractions for weeks-sometimes really regularly) i was pretty sure i was in labor, but definitely the beginning stages. after my mom got out here, i dragged brandon we made our way to the hospital where i had to run into the ER bathroom to go, yet again. it was midnight by the time we got a bed and the nurse checked me. i was still at 3 and 75% effaced. the nurse told me she talked to the midwives and they said since that was what i was a week ago, maybe i should go home and wait till they pick up.

that sounded like a horrible idea.

what if they suddenly start picking up and i couldn't get the epidural??? fortunately the nurse was on my team, and told me she was going to admit me even though they only had one bed available! once we settled in, she began running the IV, and told me she had called the anesthesiologist, and he would be there shortly. relief.

at 2 am she checked me again, and i was barely a 4. she called the midwives and said i was going to stay. they agreed. by 3 am things had started picking up a bit and i was having to breathe through a few of them. i was starting to get anxious. what if he didn't get here soon? i couldn't bear the thought of having to do this naturally. at 3:15, like a breath of fresh air, in flew dr raj. with the precision of a trained ninja he took away my pain immediately. i cannot tell you how trippy it was to suddenly not feel anything! after he left, b and i decided to get some zzzz's. so from about 4 to 7, we slept. it was a pleasant sleep, even though i kept jolting awake and thinking, 'did i have the baby? no? okay, but i can't sleep to long, i have to have a baby soon.' it was, for lack of a better word, pretty surreal.

at 7 the new nurse came in and said the midwives wanted to start me on pitocin cuz they were thinking i wasn't really in labor. however, since no one had checked me since 3 am, she decided too. when she declared i was pushing a 7, we were all shocked. b ran out to get some coffee and bagels, and by the time he got back we were gearing up for a baby.

but first i slept a bit more... cuz i could.

at 9 the midwife was there. i was almost a 9. she decided to break my water. lealah waltzed in at 9:30 and we all just chatted like we were having drinks at guissepee's. lisa (the midwife) told me when i felt some pressure, i could push. sounds good. about 3 pushes later, out popped a little dark haired angel...

i did tear a bit, but not nearly as bad as i did with the other two. lisa was amazing at guiding me through the pushing-- had me slow down and did the ol perennial massage. she stitched me up quickly, and i was able to hold and enjoy my last born baby. i'm not gonna lie, and say i was without pain entirely. during the pushing, i felt some mildly uncomfortable pressure and the familiar sting of the ring of fire...

all in all, it was an awesome experience. if i had to sum all three of them up, it might go something like this. with lily, i was pretty determined to do it naturally, and even though it hurt terribly bad, i was proud in the end. when she came out i was overwhelmed and happy to have her. with oz, it hurt something fierce. i felt totally out of control towards the end and pretty sure i was going to die. when he finally came out, i felt relieved and thankful to have a healthy baby boy. with tali, i felt so peaceful and pleasant during the labor. when she finally came out, i felt a joy i didn't have with the others. maybe it was because i wasn't in such tremendous physical pain, or maybe because i knew she was my last... whatever the case-- i am so happy its over and that she is sleeping on my chest while i write this...

so three cheers to modern medicine... i am a believer.

in living color...

here are some shots of our first couple weeks with miss thang!

enjoy...

and i promise next time i'll get some pics of her hair... its a force to be reckoned with.

a glimpse...

well, now that i am officially a mother of 3 for 1 whole week, i thought i'd share with you some highs and lows of this last week.



high- epidural. that thing was dreamy. look for the complete labor story (that mostly involved me sleeping) to come in the next week or so.

low- tearing... yet again. but not as bad as the other two!

low- having to wear diapers and nasty hospital underwear. tucks. pads, and more pads. for what seems like forever.

high- a healthy baby!

high- coming home from the hospital!

low- coming home from the hospital...

high- seeing my daughters sheer joy upon meeting tali, and my sons amazement and gentle touch with her.

low- feeling super overwhelmed thinking about how i'm going to manage 3 kids.

high- having an amazing husband who can literally clean, feed and entertain his 3 kids and his wife without complaining.

high- stool softeners

low- feeling like i was never going to feel better, and just being utterly exhausted.

high- tali is an awesome night sleeper. mastered the side nurse on second nite home!

low- tali acts like a pacifier is an abomination.

low- feeling like i don't have enough to give to my older ones.

high- my milk came in after 1.5 days!

low- my milk is in. ouch!

high- lily just sitting and adoring tali. asking to change her outfit every 15 mins...

high- seeing my husband adore his new baby girl.

high- (my favorite) on our first nite home at about 6 am tali started crying... in bounds lily with her hair all wild and her hand over her mouth giggling and smiling. i've never known anyone who is so delighted and excited to be woken up by a crying baby...

high- my mom taking the kids pretty much all week so i can just rest and be with tali.

high- meals every other day for 2 weeks!


so there you have it, a glimpse into my life this last week. i promise more pictures next time... my mother in law's got like a 112... i only have like 7.

Tali June

Talia June Rodgers
October 27, 2009
10:06 AM
7 lbs, 7 oz
20.5" long

a bit about the name...

Talia is a contraction of two Hebrew words (tal and y-uh), and means "dew of G‑d."

Dew and rain are both considered great divine blessings, both mentioned many times in the Bible. Of the two, however, dew is considered a greater blessing. This is for several reason, one being that dew is constant, while rain is less dependable. Another advantage of dew is that it is always a blessing, whereas rain is not. Rain can fall to the extent that it is damaging, while dew brings only good.

Chassidic texts explain that rain and dew are both metaphors for divine bounty. Rain isn't a constant, at times there are droughts, because the divine blessing symbolized by rain is dependent on human effort and merit—which aren't always constant. Dew, on the other hand, represents G‑d's kindness that isn't contingent on our actions or behavior, the kindness that stems from His unceasing and immutable love for His children.

With that, we present talia. We are overjoyed and so thankful for a happy, healthy baby.

blah blah blah... you're still talking about yourself?

details.

i've never been good with details.

undoubtedly i've inherited this from my mom. its scary, cuz she's even worse than me. if you got a haircut, or lost some weight, or bought some new jeans, don't come lookin to me for some acknowledgement, cuz i ain't gonna notice.

i like to think i'm not phased by people's changes in vanity, but the reality is its likely cuz i'm just a bit on the selfish side. its like when you go to prom and you are sooooo worried about the zit on your chin, yet when you get there it doesn't matter cuz everyone else is sooo focused on themselves--that's kind of like me everyday of my life. some may call it being self-absorbed, others may call it apathy. but whatever the case, i really suck at seeing the small things. it doesn't just start and stop with appearance though. even in my own day to day existence, i never remember to wear earrings or bracelet's, or think to add a scarf or even a a bra to an outfit. you may think,'is this really that big of a deal?' i don't know, but through all this i know one thing is for sure... i could never be an fbi profiler.

on the other hand it seems as if i have bred two small children that may have a future as spies. oz and lil can get straight jason bourne on my ass.

it really trips me out.

i've always known oz is my little brandon. from an early obsession preoccupation with ceiling fans, to his current loves-- cars, elevators and escalators. i've known oz has got engineer written all over him. lils on the other hand uses her freakish skills to notice every item of clothing and jewelry i own-- she calls it 'fashion.' the other night i put on a tank top i apparently hadn't worn in awhile, and when lily saw me she promptly replied, "mom, you haven't worn that since jess's baby shower."

that was over a year ago people.

if i wear a new necklace, or put on perfume, lily is the first one to notice. or if you're feeling especially unlucky, lily will straight denounce your outfit as "not fashion." and the crazy thing is, she's usually right. but it doesn't stop with lils, oz on the other hand continues to blow my mind with his uncanny car associations. he will see a honda odyssey and announce, "looks like lealah's car." or a honda crv, "looks like mimi's car." or a honda civic, "looks like daddo's car." or a volvo suv, "looks like erin's car." you get the picture. color is irrelevant, he sees the car and knows. its super weird. the other day he even saw a chevy truck and said, "looks like shelley's car, but its not." (she drives a chevy suburban). however, i will say this whole car and wheel obsession did finally work in my favor as i potty trained him. cuz apparently peeing on car wheels is waaaay better than peeing in the toilet.


i guess it shouldn't surprise that me that not only do my kids not act like me, but they seem to have missed out on most of my physical traits as well. i often look at pictures such as this one and think, 'who's the freak with the brown hair anyway?'

its weird to barely fit into to your family.









which leads me to my last hope. come any minute now, if tali doesn't come out with brown hair, freckles and inherent love for soccer, i may just have to adopt a fourth. apparently i married a man with freakishly strong genes... blond hair and sporatic bouts of OCD abound.
although i joke about my frustration of having such a girly daughter, and engineerish son, really in my heart, i am so proud. and really, i'm not gonna hold my breath for tali... something tells me that though she may come out with a mess of black hair-- ultimately she'll follow the rest and pierce our eyes with platinum locks and introverted ways. in any event, i know i'll be proud...

so what about y'all? what trips you out about your kids?

a new namesake?

after a late night celebrating lealah's bday, i was so looking forward to sleeping in this morning. somehow we've fallen into this pattern of me sleeping in both weekend days while b hangs with the kids. now before everyone gets all riled up, we do switch, and inevitably b goes surfing, or running or just away. its kind of our deal... as previously mentioned, sleep is not sacred to him.

so this morning was slated to be no different, except my mom had spent the night knowing we'd be home late from the party. when the kids came in our bed at 7 am, i caught wind of the idea that my mom was going to take them to the preschool church and we would basically be kid less till 12 or so. i sent b down to manage their hair, clothes and bowel movements... but found myself unable to relax. who knew i was such a control freak? i wanted to sleep, but had to know... was lily's hair a rats nest, did oz reek of urine from the night before, did anyone poop yet? i finally gave in to my tossing and turning and came downstairs all to find hair in tact, slight wafts of pee, and to my chagrin -- no poop. i'd say b was 90% successful.

then they were gone.

all of them.

mom with kids, and b off surfing.

its 8:30 am on sunday morning and i'm alone. its ironic how we plead and beg for this kinda time, but then when we get it, suddenly we don't want it. perhaps i'm just feeling a little over emotional cuz baby #3 is imminent--as in i've pooped 4 times in the last 12 hours-- 7 of them spent sleeping. it seems crazy that i would be so preoccupied with the kids leaving this morning without my care, when really with this new baby i won't have the time to obsess on these little things.



which leads me to my next point... why its never good to leave a 39wks pregnant mother of 2 alone for to long. too much time to think is typically not recommended for someone in my condition. as evidenced in some of my recent posts, my little mind gets a runnin, and there ain't no one around to distract me. now that i'm mostly over my swine flu fears, i've moved on to more practical fears-- like how the hell am i gonna survive with 3 kids under 4.5? and then i remember the two sweetest words... my mom.

but the real question of the morning is for all of you. we knew even before we knew we were having a girl that we would name her lily pearl. it was a done deal. we were both in total agreement and absolutely loved the name. it never occurred to me she would be anyone else. fast forward 4 years and i still lay claim--- she is all lily. yet its taken me awhile to get to this point. as i've mentioned before, when lily came out, she was not what i expected. i was imagining a peaceful little blond hair, blue eyed baby girl. what i got was a grip of black hair, an unusually low hairline, and a raging screamer. it wasn't but hours after she was born when i began to feel like her name should be lucy. for probably a good year and half she felt like a lucy to me. but as time went on, she grew to be lily, and only lily.

soooo... its possible that over drinks i was not drinking last night, we decided to change tali's name. suddenly it became so clear she should be someone else. even b was on board, which is kind of crazy, cuz we had talked about this name before without much success. yet today as i researched her on the ol world wide web, i started thinking this really might be our daughters perfect namesake... heck she even looks like she could be related to us b, lily and oz.

so without further ado... i give you tali's competition. any guesses, thoughts?