Wednesday, March 28, 2012

v is for many things.

so this valentines day i really wanted to do it up right.  being married 10 years this october kinda makes us pretty big time.  either that or i realized we have found ourselves in a new place.  not newlyweds where every day is v-day (wink wink), and not new baby days where all both of you care about is the baby getting some sleep, and lastly, 10 years of marriage, means 10 years of not being divorced.  10 years means we've definitely had our ups and downs and we don't have the excuse of being burdened by small kids anymore, yet at the same time we don't have the fire that comes with being newly married.  it could almost feel like an okay opportunity for some apathetic contentment (cuz thats a real condition i just made up-- mostly cuz its quite possible it's what i've been living for for quite some time now).  if i'm completely honest, the lack of intensity in our marriage comes from being comfortable in a lot of ways. b has a great job, i get to stay home, all of our financial needs are met and even some of our wants.  all of us are healthy, and though the kids make us crazy, they are healthy and thriving.  we really have so much to be thankful for and therein lies the rub.  thankful can often times mean complacent.
so when the night before valentines day came around and i was chatting with lealah and coco about our plans, i found myself super excited for what coco had planned.  it was just a simple dinner for the most part, except hearing her describe her dress, her smokin hot wig, her sweet card and her 'stage' name (moana shiftwell), i realized i needed to up my game.
so what better way to up your game then going to a place you haven't been in years....  the small space you've reserved in the last drawer  in the way back corner of your dresser... you know where i'm talking about ladies... your lingerie spot.  as i fumbled my way there i was reminded of what a road less traveled it was.  of course we were totally running late and i had like 3 minutes which is 2 minutes more that usual to get ready, so i had this crazy idea (and no i hadn't even been drinking yet) to wear some lingerie under my dinner clothes.  for some reason i had this vision of it peeking out and 'whet'-ing the appetite...  well, peeking out it did.  i tried to find my raciest number circa 2002 (yes, something i got for my bridal shower)  and after wasting 2.5 of my 3 minutes trying to fasten all 50 hooks, i realized it was eventually supposed to attach to something... like some sexy underwear or something (which it probably came with 10 years ago, but is long since gone).  there is probably a name for this type of lingerie, but clearly i'm out of the game.  so i kind of gather the hanging straps and tuck them in my jeans... thus creating a bulging on many levels.  the first level was apparant when i finally exhaled.  see, appparantly my rib cage (not whats on the outside of my ribs unfortunately) has grown several inches since i was 23.  so where the lingeire stopped,  my stomach bulged out.  i seriously looked 4 months pregnant.  that combined with the sheerly ridiculous amount of lace made me look like i had a bunch of gum wrappers wadded up in my tank top on top of my second trimester belly.  needless to say, i kept my jacket on the entire evening.
dinner itself was pleasent enough.  we enjoyed halibut, soup, salad and bottle of wild horse merlot.  we talked about  how much we loved each other and how we couldn't wait to rip each others clothes off.  haha, you didn't really believe that did you?  have you already forgotten we have been married 10 years...
we talked about the kids for longer than we should have... we talked about how some of our friends were doing. i bored him with the details of the latest 'best book ever' i was reading, and he tried his best to engage me on what was happening at work.  it was a lot like a typical evening except we didn't have 3 little hyena's competing for out attention.
as the night went on, i kept trying to think of ways to convey my sexy underparts.  i kinda felt like a mormon with my holy garments, except mine were way sexier and i can have sex whenever i want.  yet when we finally paid our bill and made our way out to the car, i was to tired and full to show anything off.  needless to say by the time we walked in the door we weren't exactly ripping each others clothes off.  so... now was my moment, right? as we went upstairs, b went into the bathroom and i began to unveil my sexiness... and let me tell you, what a night it was!  it ended with the best most amazing fireworks a girl could ask for:  we fell asleep cuddling, but not before my husband told me how incredibly happy and thankful he was to have me has his wife.
i know what you're thinking, so hot right?!  because in the mind of a woman, cuddling and words of affirmation trumps any wild night anyday.. 10 years or not!
all this to say, it will be hard to top next year... but instead of waiting one year to go back to the recesses of my dresser, i'm going to try really hard to nip this apathetic contentment in the booty, and actually put lingerie on at least once before next v-day.  baby steps ladies.  lets do it for our dudes, lord knows they deserve more.