Tuesday, April 15, 2008

really, will you always?




i'm not gonna lie. my son is obsessed with me. the kid wants to be on me like every minute of every hour of every long... weekday day. if i'm in sight- he's on me like pantyhose on a mermaid. i know this is sounding pretty characteristic to most of you out there... like really, what kid doesn't love his mama? well, i can tell you one kid who didn't love their mama like oz- lily. i mean she really liked me and wanted me, but really, with him, its sort of ridiculous. if i'm sitting on the ground playing with them (cause really when am i not) he'll go play with some toys for a minute and then just pull himself up on my knees and nuzzle his snotty nose (lately) all over my shirt... over and over and yes, over.
don't get me wrong. i'm not trying to sound ungrateful for this lavish affection, its just that a girl (mama) needs her space. and really, i sort of feel a bit apprehensive. cause sooner or later (at this rate, likely later) the kid will get over me like water off a ducks back. pooof. one day he'll be married and gone- enslaved to the wants and desires of his bride. which, might i add is a good thing. i really am so thankful my husband isn't a mama's boy. or am i? selfishly, i'd like to think ozzie's undying affections for me would last well into high school, college... marriage? what's healthy with boys? i don't know... i've obviously always been a girl, and able to have a long standing, brilliant and real relationship with my mom... but as for my brother and my mom??? it's great, but def different. so anyway, all you boy mama's (which is like everyone i know) what do you think... do we raise em up to be mama's boys, or give em that tough love... and really how do we find the balance?

9 comments:

The Avilas said...

I totally understand girl. London is the same way. Doesn't he get that it is SOOO uncool to be in love with your mom? On a serious note, I have been reading "Bringing up Boys" by Dr. Dobson and it talks a lot about raising up boys to be men. How everything this day in age is telling boys to be more "girly". Things like sitting still and playing quietly..not throwing the ball around, keep your voice down....all things that are good..but when a boy it told not to do these things, it is like telling me not to watch Biggest Loser. It totally goes against nature. The book also talks about why there are so many homosexual men these days and how mom's contribute to it by not letting there boys hoarse around and just be boys. (obviously, another reason is that there are so many dead beat fathers out there, but that isn't our case!)

Anyway, I guess my final vote is to teach them to respect their elders and women, work hard and provide, and cause as much SAFE chaos as they want!

Jenny Schlenker said...

good encouraging words jenn! for that matter even with little girls too... i think we can be so uptight we we are around kids, not that i am a mom or anything- but let kids me kids, eh? I guess that is a totall different topic that what holls is touching on.... holls....ugh.... i feel you girl- i think i would feel the exact same way! hopefully it's a phase just like our denim on denim days!

Holls said...

schlink-denim on denim was a phase?
jenn-biggest loser-- go chicks!!! that chick rocked it last night! yeah!
but really thanks for the words. i know they are just kids, but sometimes i really trip out. like oz would really rather be on my lap than playing at the toy store or at someone's house with tons of toys. then again, lily is like that too in a lot of ways. maybe its me?

Kristen Borland said...

give him awhile longer. i think it's still okay. gosh, i wish my boys were back at that stage! (well, zeb hardly ever was!) oz is young still. he'll be over it before you know it.

g2 said...

holz: first off, honored to be added to your 'friends' list. second: just chill. between your healthy maternal paranoia and b's studly paternal engineering prowess, oz will be just fine. (but remember: architect moma's boys get stuff done)

The Harper Family said...

Holls...
Oz will not be a mama's boy look at who his dad is...B is a man's man. His attachment to you is just a phase...you're his first love enjoy it while it lasts!

Soderin Family said...

I agree...enjoy it while it lasts! Noah is already too independent. I know, the grass is always greener on the other side. Great seeing you guys today. The kiddos are so cute and big!

ganyofamily said...

Holly,
Your post inspired me to write about my own mama's boy. You can read my thoughts on your dilemma on my blog....

The McCabe's said...

seems like this is a prevalent issue amongst mamas and their boys :). we are in the same phase over here (lol ... Aidan turns 3 in June!).

I think we can be secure in allowing that mommy and son affection to be the special connection that it is as long as our hubbies continue to invest and speak into their lives. I definitely wouldn't worry about them turning into girls ;). I know Dobson (in his Bringing Up Boys book) says the connection between mama and son usually switches over to dad around age 2 or 3, but I'm finding out from lots of other moms with boys that it's been a little later for them as well. so who knows when that will happen for us! for now, I'm just soaking it all in, because as you said, one day, it'll all be over!