goodbye girls

i was quite a bit older than my friends when you finally made your entrance.  i had been waiting, and waiting.

and

waiting.

like all middle school girls, i quickly realized popularity came from one tangible place.

the ta-ta's.

then one day you broke through like a seed bursting into a beautiful sunflower.  well maybe not so much a sunflower as a miniature rose.  in any event i kept waiting for you to make that significant spurt, but much like samantha baker on her 16th birthday,  i realized this was going to be one area god would not be generous with me with.

i won't lie and say it wasn't painful. getting messages written on calculators reading 55378008 (yes upside on a calculator its spells boobless- this was our version of texting) or overhearing, 'she's cute, but she's totally flat.'

flat...

the dreaded word of a high school girl.

and then one day i grew up, and realized guys aren't only interested in boobs.  (actually they are. in fact its ALL they are interested in, but if you are a young reader, i at least did my due diligence).

i got married, got pregnant (yes in that order) and one day i woke up, looked down and thought, 'so this is what all the fuss was about!'

yes, you were huge, beautiful, ginormous, buoyant and....

milky.

that's right.

leaking.  milk.  already.


and there wasn't even a baby.

though this was just the beginning of looks can be deceiving, it sure was enough to make any girl wonder what it would be like...

once the baby came, you began to change even more!  it was miraculous.  truly.  i came home from the hospital and within three days, i seriously was rivaling pam (minus the blond hair and botox).  when b caught sight of you, he practically passed out, but as he went in for a feel, he realized once again... you were not made for him.  hard as rocks and once again... the dreaded leak.

but then you regulated yourself, and we settled into a nice, confident size.  more than proportionate- generous even, and really just lovely.  hearing words like 'rack' instead of 'flat' or 'bijoingas' instead of 'flapjacks' was like music to my ears. you truly were a sight.

and so as our journey comes to a close, i just want to say--we had a good run thelma and louise, you ebbed and flowed so beautifully these last five years of pregnancy and nursing.  you fed my babies and loved my husband in a way he never thought he'd know.  you gave me a glimpse into a life i never thought i'd know...

and so now my little jahoobies, its time to say good bye.  as tali takes her final sips, we bid you farewell.  we've had an amazing run.  and though my badoinkies will once again deflate, i'll remember these years as the best of my life.

au revoir, girls... au revoir.