elevators seriously used to make me crazy. from about age 6-12 i'd almost have a panic attack if i had to go in one. due to the fact that my parents were going through a divorce around that time, i was graced with countless hours in a therapists chair. i got to draw lots of pictures of how i felt, and what i wanted my family to look like... and then one day she asked me if there was anything else i would like to talk about. as she likely braced herself for some profound confession of abuse or teary admission of sin, i simply looked at her and said 'elevators.'
'yes, i'm terribly scared to go in elevators. not just like claustrophobic scared, but like i'm almost positive that if i step inside one i will get trapped and it will just so happen to be in the twin towers and airplanes will come crash into them (premonition?)'
so maybe i didn't say it exactly like that, but in my mind that was definitely what was going to happen.
she listened carefully as i told her about all the hysteria surrounding elevators for me. after giving me some line about how its a metaphor for how i feel trapped by my parents separation... she quickly realized that this was the kinda situation that no amount of xanax could help.
soooo like any good psychologist she told me she would have some ideas on how to fix this next time we meet (cuz who the hell teaches you in school how to counsel a 10 yr old kid on overcoming elevator fears-- this was clearly going to take some deep research).
fortunately for me riding in elevators was not part of my daily living. but i tell you what, the day i walked out of her office, i had the utmost confidence that my problem would quickly be solved. that whole week i avoided them at all costs, which wasn't hard cuz growing up in SLO there was like maybe 6 in the whole city.
tuesday rolled around and i took my seat in that stiff wicker chair and awaited my instructions.
...(cue soothing therapist voice) 'so, holly, after what we talked about last week i was thinking it would be a good idea to discuss some solutions to your fear of riding in elevators. (pause for effect) i don't know if you know this, but (drum roll) all elevators have inside them a certificate of inspection. its standard, and once you step inside (hello that's the problem biaatch) you can always read the certificate to insure that it has been properly inspected and cleared for use by a certified elevator inspector. finding this paper in the elevator will allow you to have the peace of mind knowing that nothing will go wrong on your short ride to the second floor (big smile)'
really? is someone really paying you for this? cuz that advice seriously sucked.
the happy ending (no thanks to her) is that i'm now 30 and have overcome my fear of elevators. this may or may not be because i grew up and married a a man who is an engineer, then birthed his son who is apparently wired just like him and has enabled me to spend countless hours in elevators cuz that's pretty much his favorite thing to do. whatever the case, these days there's no elevator to small, shaky or tall for me. i'm happy to say i am more than a conqueror... with no thanks to some shady, wrinkly notice of inspection.
with that said, this week i want to know...
'what fear have you outgrown?'