i guess it all began a few weeks back when i went to grab a jacket out of my closet. as i was heading out the door i realized i had grabbed a blue abercrombie and fitch sweatshirt. on my 15 min drive to the kids preschool i kept looking over at the sweatshirt. thoughts like, 'you're 30, can you really still wear that?' or 'do i look like one of those mom/ladies that is trying to hard to look young?' you know the ones- they wear a lot of animal print and camo? man, i'm getting old. i would never have thought this one little sweatshirt would have sent me into such a tailspin.
i know this may come as a shock to most of you, but i've never been on the cutting edge of fashion. when all my friends were rocking their wet seal body suits, i opted for my cats the musical sweatshirt, cuz nothing says cool in jr high like andrew lloyd weber. now don't get me wrong, i desperately wanted to snap on my unitard and show off my mosquito bites to all those jr high boys, yet apparently
after my friends convinced me that broadway musical attire was getting me nowhere, i tried to start paying more attention to what those around me were wearing. but since my mom didn't care at all what i wore, and i just didn't have the
boobs body to wear what my friends were, i spent most of high school in argile sweaters, baggy jeans and old thrift store t-shirts with logos like, 'i got crabs in morro bay, ca.' don't be jealous....
it probably wasn't till college and my early twenties that i finally began to come into my own. i realized the body god had given me wasn't nearly as dreadful as i had once perceived and that most of the fashion industry really did make clothes that would fit me. i discovered aber and got in touch with my inner teeny bop that missed the window on those clothes so many years ago, then SLO got a gap, and things were looking up.
before i knew it i was 25 and my first child was born. a year and a half later another. it seemed like overnight i found myself more excited to see what was new at baby gap than on a store wide sale at banana. and then seriously, one day i woke up and i was 30.
who knew that harmless little blue aber sweatshirt would make me so crazy. i began to question everything i was wearing. it didn't help that i had a bacherollete party coming up. suddenly i was a mess thinking how i could razzle and dazzle the regulars at native (slo's hottest nightclub hee hee) yet also present myself as a classy mother of 3. as i perused my closet by the dim light of a wall nightlight (because the baby was sleeping in our room) i realized that i had very few dresses that were going to work. don't even get me started on shoes...
anyway as i tiptoed into the bathroom to put on some makeup (practically in the dark) and definitely totally silent (no kesha to get me pumped up) cuz i didn't want to wake the kids sleeping in the next room, i finally realized, i am old. getting ready in the dark, in silence, and by yourself at the time i usually go to bed, officially equals you are now 30. the real kicker was hitting the dance floor and realizing that the only new dance moves i had from the last decade were ones i picked up from watching ellen.
yet sunday when i woke up to a nursing baby and a naked
32 3 year old in my bed, i realized i'm not that old, i'm just a mom. i just need to figure out how to start dressing like one. i wish i could tell you i suddenly had an epiphany or a knock at the door from clinton and stacy... but unfortunately i still don't really know what it all means, cuz monday when my mom and i left for farmers market she grabbed a sweatshirt. it wasn't till we were on the grass hanging with the other moms that i realized low and behold, she was ROCKING the blue aber sweatshirt.
so i guess from all of this, the only thing i've really learned is for me, aber is definitely out, for my mom, maybe not so much. oh, and bodysuits, i'm about to show all you middle school hussies how a lactating mother of three's still got it.