Tuesday, April 13, 2010

hugs not fists

hey y'all, just a quick exhortation (big word huh?) to let you know how encouraged i am by all your comments. nice to know you all are really like me, as in you like to talk about yourself.... i know i'm asking you too, but you get the gist. with that said, i want to tell you a little story about a time when someone didn't like me so much....

picture it, laguna junior high 1992. me awkwardly skinny, just pushing 90 lbs. thanks to my last post you have a pretty good mental image of what kind of clothes to expect me in, its a wonder that a boy would even have been interested in me. yet, enter jared bonkowski. jared was one of those fringe types, definitely not a 'soc' but not a nerd, quite possibly in a band (not the school one). with his ponytail and camel light's stolen from his mom, he had a lot to offer for junior high. so we held hands a couple of times, passed a few notes and possibly kissed once or twice behind the portable math buildings. then one monday i came to school and saw none other than my bf holding hands with the dreaded helena quintanar. now, if the name doesn't give it away, i don't know what else will. the whole quintanar family was a force to be reckoned with, with 2 older brothers in and out of juvie, helena was following in their footsteps. she was pretty much the only girl at laguna that had ever been in a fight. i later found out that she had ties to BWA and would talk about getting 'jumped in.' she was one scary tween to say the least. so naturally, when i saw jared with her i knew our time was over and not one bit of me wanted to fight in any way shape or form for him. in fact, i was hoping that she never even knew he had liked me.
fast froward to thursday night. my friend and i decided to head down to farmers market. the last 4 days had been status quo, no rumblings of anything to do with helena or jared and like i said, that was fine by me. so there we are out in front of the cigar shop, probably trying to find a way to buy some nasty cherry tobacco to smoke out of my friends dads cigar pipe... when up walk four of helena's closest cholas. when i saw them approach, my heart started pounding. i knew they were there for me.
as casually as can be, one stepped forward and said, 'hey holly, hey just so you know... helena's looking for you.'
i froze, speechless as they left laughing.
'oh shit!' i said as i turned to my friend. 'what am i going to do?!"
she, like the good friend she was, said- 'lets just keep walking, your going to have to face her sooner or later, you might as well do it when there are lots of people around.'
so off we went, heading up higuera, it wasn't two minutes later that i saw her.
she had on white jeans and red top with her huge raiders bomber over it. her hair was tied back with a black bandanna. her lips were bright red, contrasting her big silver hoop earrings.
as soon as i saw her, i seriously thought i was going to throw up. i have never been as scared as i was right then.
she looked up and saw me. i froze right there in the middle of higuera. she kept walking toward me with a smirk on her face. she got 2 feet in front of me and said with all the authority in the world, 'hey, i been looking for you.'
looking back there's a million things i could have said... in fact i've often rehearsed the scene... i could've been snotty, confident, apologetic or i like to imagine myself just hitting her in the face (just kidding, not really).
but instead, it turns out i did the exact right thing.
i started to cry. real tears.
she looked at me confused, then her face change. it became soft and sweet. she reached out to hug me, and said, 'hey, its okay. its fine. i wasn't gonna hurt you.' and there i was letting the scariest vata in SLO county hold me in the middle of farmers market.
and that's the story of the biggest, baddest, scariest fight i have ever been.

and so with that long, detailed introduction, i wanna know this tuesday...

'have you ever been in a physical fight?'


Erin said...

Oh my gosh Holly! That story was amazing. I was friends with a few gangstas in my day... I know how scary they can be... or how kind kind. There were a couple times in junior high when I was super thankful that I had some cholas in my side.

But me? A physical fight? It was a close call. I was at a bar in LA. Lane had just played a show. I'd had a few beers and I was all riled up. I had to pee but someone had been in the bathroom for an hour. I kept banging on the bathroom door which was right next to the bar and yelling that I had to pee. The bartender kept telling Lane that I better tone it down a notch. (She was a badass rockabilly chic). I was pissed that she was telling me to calm down. So the person finally came out of the bathroom and shut the door behind them... and get this... I looked over at that bartender and then proceeded to kick the door in... Ummm what? Am I crazy? Yes. But anyway, that bartender was pissed and I'm sure just thought I was a really annoying drunk girl. We left shortly after that and thankfully I didn't get beat up or kicked out for my shenanigans. That's the closest I've ever been.

zaiahbird said...

Well I really was in a gang once in junior high. I was one hard core chicana loca. And my best friend did turn on me and threaten to shoot me. I was pissing my pants just waiting for her to do a drive by. Thankfully those days are behind me. I have almost wanted to punch several people at our farmers market booth.

The VanDorn Family said...

In high school I was one of the "good girls". I never drank or did anything bad...ever. My senior year I was dating a guy and he cheated on me with a super scanky girl. The next day everyone was spreading rummers that I was going to fight her (WHAT?) so that night I went to my best friends house and practiced punching pillows all night. She did not show up to school the next day. I was so glad that I didn't have to go through with it and that she chickened out!

ParadisoPerDue said...

I've had one close call (a drunk guy pushed one of my younger girl friends in high school at a Luscious Jackson concert and I almost got into it with him). I have had a few shouting matches and definitely won them- when I'm pissed I can cut people with words- but I'm not a physical kind of gal. If I ever got in a physical fight I think it would have to be because someone was threatening a loved one cuz I can't imagine getting physical over myself.

Sarah said...

Never been in a fight, but I totally know how Helena is!

Anonymous said...

6th grade with Mary Figone.

I had just moved to "the boondocks" and my first public school. There was a really mean 8th grader who had it in for me. She basically forced Mary and I to fight in the girl's bathroom before school. Needless to say, she ended up with 2 black eyes and me with bloody knuckles and a 3 day suspension from my new school. Funny that you mention hugs not fists, because while waiting in the principal's office, Mary and I forgave each other and hugged. It took Mary's mom a lot longer to forgive me though. Anyway, weird to remember that. I think Jess and I would have been friends in high school.


Trisha said...

No physical fight here for me..unless you count sister fights. Those happened in the teen years..but outside of that..I had no balls to step up and fight. I just cried in fear at the thought of a fight at school. Had a gangsta chick steal my shoes, put a knife through them because I had a crush on the same guy she did..and I got a note from him and she didn't. She then sent one of her side kicks to stalk me in the bathroom during class..and try and fight me I guess, but I just was cornered and started to cry..hard..I was so scared that, well..I could loose my nose or something. She backed off and I avoided the bathroom during class..that was not fun.

Kristen said...

How funny...i happen to have Helena on my facebook page...

The Calamond Connection said...

Great stories - I've been enjoying all of them. I had my share of who-can-yell-louder-and-say-the-meanest thing fights, but the only kinda could of ended up physical happened when I was about 25 during the mad shopping rush for the best deals the day after Christmas. I'd closed a neighborhood bar down with my brother and was not at my prettiest or angelicist (? is that a word?) the next morning at 5 am when my mom and sister woke me up to shop. I was left in charge of the spoils they were finding, one being a large dog that would bark "jingle bells" or something when you passed the sensor. A woman came up and started looking at it and I kept telling her where she could find one and she kept touching and picking it up. I finally said, "lady, they're over there, drop the dog." to which she had a not nice reply that eludes me right now, but I do remember replying "what? you want some of this?" and stood up from my hangover perch on the floor. I didn't really say those exact words, but the standing up got her attention and she quickly dropped the dog and walked off. Needless to say, I upped the amount of advil and haven't been shopping the day after Christmas since. I'm not proud of my behavior, but to those of you involved in the mayhem of the day after Xmas shopping, you probably understand the immense pressure involved in holding on to the precious deals you find, plus the hangover was one of the worst I've ever had. Hols, you probably didn't think I had that nastiness in me, huh?

The Avilas said...

yes, yes I have.

hook like and sucka

Sobriety Checkpoint said...

hahahaha! So funny! I have never actually been in a fist fight...I mean one time I was drunk and threw cold cuts at a bar tender...but fists not really...HOWEVER, I have avoided a few in my life...One instance comes to mind in the high school cafeteria. This little skinny frizzy haired girl bumped into me...quite roughly and me clad in my bushy curly hair, painted lips and turned up nose turned around and called her a "little freshmen bitch"...well I didnt get the memo that this little frizz ball was the little sister to the leader of the Mexican Mafia at our school!!! Her sister was this huge women with sixteen inch cobolt blue finger nails that were recently ripped off past the base due to her last fight! And I remember her coming up to me and telling me that she was going to kick my white ass after school! I had never been so scared in my life. I remember that day after school I ran to my Suburban (thank God for huge gas guzzling cars) and I piled in six of my friends and we sped off...but we soon realized we were being chased by a cobolt blue Ford Geo (color coincidence...I think not)!!! I never knew so many huge people could fit into such a small car! I am not sure how I got out of it or how I got home or how I lived the rest of my days at good ol Saint Marys High...but I do remember when I heard the name Rita Lisa Conseula Concepcione Martinez...my asshole puckered!!! hahahahaha!