a little labor story... ok its really long.

*contains some slightly graphic content. if you are man, unless you love labor stories, you might want to pass on this one. if not, don't say i didn't warn you. also this is a long post, feel free to skip down where you get into the meat of the story*

once upon a time there was a 25 yr old girl, who after 2 years of wedded bliss found herself with child. now being the young girl she was, she didn't have many friends who had yet had kids themselves. seeing as how she had no younger siblings and had not done much babysitting in her younger years, she really didn't know much about this baby business. therefore as she got bigger and bigger, and people began to question her about how she envisioned her labor, she immediately seized up in fear. labor was, in her eyes, the worst of the five letter words.

her one friend who had gone through it had invited her to be in the room during the birth of her first son. this young girl found it to be terribly beautiful, but also devastatingly frightening. you see, her friend had opted for a 'natural childbirth.'

with the prodding of her one 'experienced' friend she decided to look into this natural childbirth business, and signed up for some childbirth education classes (aka lamaze) with a local known doula. without being overly in your face about it, this doula hypnotized educated this young girl and thousands others into pursuing an epidural free labor.

now did i mention this young girl is a total wimp, has a very low pain tolerance, and really nothing in common with rosie the riveter. she typically takes shortcuts, and cuts corners in all areas. not much about her shouts- 'i'm a bad ass and i wanna have this baby naturally even if i tear to high hell!' in fact when her time finally came, the dr had the nerve to announce that 'this is gonna be the first baby i'm gonna deliver that'll be bigger than the mom!' the labor came and went and with the help of her one friend who acted as a doula, and her amazing husband who literally took every single guttural breath with her...

she did it.

naturally.

and it. hurt. like. hell.

fast forward a year later. she's pregnant again. this time she's feeling more inclined to consider other options after a long recovery including words like hemorrhoids and fissures.
yet her time comes, and she gets to the hospital, and 2 hrs later her son is born. her joy is overshadowed by the fact that she is getting sewn up for an hour as they consider whether or not she needs a catheter because she tore all the way up to her urethra. in the end she leaves the hospital a mother of two with a very sore geeg.

there you have it. one happy family with one boy and one girl. the young girl isn't so young anymore and decides if she is going to have another baby she should do it soon, cuz 30 is knocking down her door. after much consideration, she takes the plunge and is ecstatic to find out her last baby will in fact be, a baby girl. this time, she knows one thing for sure: she will not suffer... she will, at all costs, get the epidural.

this is her account of how she experienced a completely different childbirth experience...

the midwives told me i had to get to the hospital as soon as i knew i was in labor to ensure time enough to get the epidural. a week prior to tali's birth i was sure i was in labor and going to have the baby. all week i waited and wondered. finally monday (the 26th) came around. i had the feeling again- this is going to happen soon. monday afternoon i went on a long walk and promptly came home and had the ria. after dinner, we put the kids to bed and i went to the bathroom again. not normal. i sat down to watch tv and began timing my contractions. they were about every 5 mins, but not necessarily increasing. (i had been having contractions for weeks-sometimes really regularly) i was pretty sure i was in labor, but definitely the beginning stages. after my mom got out here, i dragged brandon we made our way to the hospital where i had to run into the ER bathroom to go, yet again. it was midnight by the time we got a bed and the nurse checked me. i was still at 3 and 75% effaced. the nurse told me she talked to the midwives and they said since that was what i was a week ago, maybe i should go home and wait till they pick up.

that sounded like a horrible idea.

what if they suddenly start picking up and i couldn't get the epidural??? fortunately the nurse was on my team, and told me she was going to admit me even though they only had one bed available! once we settled in, she began running the IV, and told me she had called the anesthesiologist, and he would be there shortly. relief.

at 2 am she checked me again, and i was barely a 4. she called the midwives and said i was going to stay. they agreed. by 3 am things had started picking up a bit and i was having to breathe through a few of them. i was starting to get anxious. what if he didn't get here soon? i couldn't bear the thought of having to do this naturally. at 3:15, like a breath of fresh air, in flew dr raj. with the precision of a trained ninja he took away my pain immediately. i cannot tell you how trippy it was to suddenly not feel anything! after he left, b and i decided to get some zzzz's. so from about 4 to 7, we slept. it was a pleasant sleep, even though i kept jolting awake and thinking, 'did i have the baby? no? okay, but i can't sleep to long, i have to have a baby soon.' it was, for lack of a better word, pretty surreal.

at 7 the new nurse came in and said the midwives wanted to start me on pitocin cuz they were thinking i wasn't really in labor. however, since no one had checked me since 3 am, she decided too. when she declared i was pushing a 7, we were all shocked. b ran out to get some coffee and bagels, and by the time he got back we were gearing up for a baby.

but first i slept a bit more... cuz i could.

at 9 the midwife was there. i was almost a 9. she decided to break my water. lealah waltzed in at 9:30 and we all just chatted like we were having drinks at guissepee's. lisa (the midwife) told me when i felt some pressure, i could push. sounds good. about 3 pushes later, out popped a little dark haired angel...

i did tear a bit, but not nearly as bad as i did with the other two. lisa was amazing at guiding me through the pushing-- had me slow down and did the ol perennial massage. she stitched me up quickly, and i was able to hold and enjoy my last born baby. i'm not gonna lie, and say i was without pain entirely. during the pushing, i felt some mildly uncomfortable pressure and the familiar sting of the ring of fire...

all in all, it was an awesome experience. if i had to sum all three of them up, it might go something like this. with lily, i was pretty determined to do it naturally, and even though it hurt terribly bad, i was proud in the end. when she came out i was overwhelmed and happy to have her. with oz, it hurt something fierce. i felt totally out of control towards the end and pretty sure i was going to die. when he finally came out, i felt relieved and thankful to have a healthy baby boy. with tali, i felt so peaceful and pleasant during the labor. when she finally came out, i felt a joy i didn't have with the others. maybe it was because i wasn't in such tremendous physical pain, or maybe because i knew she was my last... whatever the case-- i am so happy its over and that she is sleeping on my chest while i write this...

so three cheers to modern medicine... i am a believer.