Wednesday, August 5, 2009

baby girls

i've never been a dancer. i've never been drawn to the color pink. and in the words of garth, my favorite white dress is my faded blue jeans. i was the first girl in slo county to play pop warner football, and i wore a 49ers hat most of my freshman year of high school.

i was your basic, good ol-fashioned tomboy.

in college i started wearing a bit of make-up and switched up my ol trusty plain white tee for a v neck. i finally traded in my sports bra and ventured into vicky's (lord knows i needed it). it wasn't until my high school boyfriend broke my heart my second year of college, that i realized i needed to push up my boobs - pull up my bootstraps and start acting and looking like a girl.

this transition wasn't difficult. though i was a tomboy at heart, i always had plenty of friends that were girls, some of them very girly. i started paying closer attention to how they put their make-up on, and the fine art of tight jeans and making your boobs look bigger than they are. i got a fake ID and hit the slo bar scene like a bat outta hell. just when i started getting a lot more attention from sleazy guys, i met and fell in love with brandon.

fast forward 3 years, we're married. with 2 more years, i'm pregnant, and find out our firstborn will be a baby girl. as i've mentioned before, i definitely felt some trepidation being a mom to a daughter. i was sure i was destined to be a mom of like 5 boys. how could i, a girl who's really new to the whole girl thing anyway, teach my own daughter to be a woman? well, fortunately for me, god wasn't gonna leave that task up to me... he gave me the girliest girl north of paris hilton. after a quick year with lily, another baby was made and we were sure we'd have another daughter. i'll never forget the ultrasound with oz after the technician left. i looked at b and he said with a sigh, "well i hope the next one's a girl." we had fallen head over heels for all the drama and tutu's of a little lily. we never anticipated how much joy having oz would bring to all of us.

since we made the decision to have another baby, we both felt like whatever we got was just a bonus. we already had a boy and a girl old enough to experience the exasperation and blessing of both that it didn't matter. since everyone told us from day one it was a girl, we weren't surprised to leave the ultrasound with this bit of good news.

lily was ecstatic.

the whole ultrasound she kept asking, "really its a girl, really you promise? it really is?" to lily a sister is beyond a dream come true. this isn't any surprise seeing as how she is surrounded by boys. the four friends i spend the most time with all have at least 2 (one with 3) boys each!

for me thinking about having another daughter brought a myriad of emotions.

first off i have to say the most amazing thing about it was/is seeing lily's sheer joy. it goes without saying she really wanted a sister, she prayed for one and wished for one on every star. i was nervous she's be severely disappointed or frustrated with god if it was a boy, but to my delight her wish came true. it was a such a tangible way for lily at barely 4 yrs of age to experience god's love for her. he was going to give her her first big wish... a sister.

as a mom having another daughter means so incredibly much to me. never having had a sister, i saw my friends with their sisters and often wondered if my lack of femininity was due to my lack of a female sibling. i see my friends with sisters even now and crave the bond they have. it makes me radiant inside to know that my daughters will have that one day. not to mention if i fail in the realm of teaching my second daughter to be a woman, she has lily- and really, lily is as girl as it gets.

in addition to their bond, i feel so fortunate to have increased my odds that at least one will like me! i know they will stray for a bit, but know from experience that they'll be back-- (unless i really go crazy)--cuz every girl needs her mama when she has a baby. as much as i hope oz would want me around, i can pretty much guarantee his wife won't! i guess in so many ways i too really feel loved by god. i honestly feel like he saw just what our family needed and gave it to us. my cup truly is overflowing.

i'm counting the minutes till miss tali june lights up our lives. i can't wait to get my hands on her.


Tee said...

Holly I love the name Tali June. How did you guys come to decide?

The Schmidts said...

Congratulations Holly! I love having two girls. I didn't have a sister either and I always felt like I was missing out. Nayeli loves being a big sister. Cute name! -Rhiannon

kris pollard said...

great talking to you yesterday holls. we're super excited to see you guys in san diego. loved this post. i related a lot. although God gave me the boy first and i was super excited...and then another one- and I fell in love with raising boys/brothers. it felt so comfortable. when we got pregnant this time I was still very content with the thought of adding another boy to the mix. it's all i knew. but i love the special mother daughter bond i have with my mom and so deep down i think i was wishing for a girl...and max really was too for some reason. when we found out God was giving us a girl I felt so happy, excited, thankful and kind of nervous. it was new territory. i knew it would be special but i've been surprised at just how much...only 7 weeks of being lola's mom so far and i am so smitten with having a little girl. it's incredibly amazing.

love the name you are giving her. i really liked "june" for lola's middle name but it didn't carry on our tradition of it being a color.

keep us posted on your sd plans- talked to si and he thought it might be fun if we got a room down there for a night too??

Jenny Schlenker said...

so excited holls! i love you so much!

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