I thought a picture was in order... but the real question is do I even still look like this? This morning I was getting ready- actually going to blow dry my hair... my son was sleeping and daughter - strangely enough was in her crib reading books- I was looking in the mirror and tripping out- which is something I do often- I was thinking is this really my life? Not in a bad way- just perplexed. I didn't have any make up on and I looked like I was in high school- well sort of- with lots of gray hair and a few wrinkles- but really it was one of those moments- like this is me but I have two kids. Am I even old enough, responsible enough- selfless enough, to have two kids? So I found this picture as my first post, I guess to try and remember if I still look like that- or more importantly is my personality - my heart- my soul the same as it was in this picture. I'll tell you what I remember about this day...

We were in France, Biarritz to be exact. It was a beautiful day. Brandon and I were hanging out on the beach, B was not surfing, bc like most of our vacations- there was no surf. So we were out on the little town, with no money. It was the most budget vacation I've ever been on. We were living in Edinburgh, Scotland and found flights for .01 pence. Thats like 2 cents here. So we found this "self-catering" accomadation and made the journey- which did involve sleeping in the terminal at London-stansted airport (which was pretty typical when you travel with ryanair) . Anyway the accomadations were beyond budget, we thought we could cook meals in the place, but we didn't have any of the basics, so we ended up eating baguettes and brie cheese most days. I remember vividly the one night we splurged on a nice dinner. We hopped onto our rented bikes and found a little restaraunt overlooking the cliffs in biarritz. Through the windows of this tiny little restaraunt, we saw an amazing night sky- only slightly tainted by the lights of the main strip. At this restarant I ate mussels for the first time- seriously fresh from the ocean- they were amazingly good- but what I remember the most was the wine- it waw white and from the region- but it was so dry and tasted so mineraly- not being a huge white wine drinker- I was soooo into it. I haven't found wine like that since. Which to some degree is okay, cause the way it seared my taste buds will always be reminscent of that night in France.

If I could've seen a flash of my life today that night, I'm sure I wouldn't have neccisarily been surprised... I mean I was married, kids next is natural. I guess the strange thing is I never could've imagined how i'd feel having kids- experiencing a love so deep, and so consuming, almost scary. All I thought about that night in Biarritz, or that time in my life was well myself. I loved God with all my heart, and was so focused on developing that, and enjoying my marriage- I never knew I could be so consumed by another love this side of heaven...