Thursday, June 18, 2009

man, you guys were rough last week... it was like you all took a vow a silence. i'll try not to take it personally...
so this week i'm comin back at ya, full force. with that said...

would you rather...


have your son play the prince in a famous production of swan lake














or


have your daughter be the star point guard of the los angeles sparks (WNBA)?













even if you don't have a son or a daughter, just try and wrap your mind around it and let me know what you'd choose. i'm kinda feelin WNBA, but maybe just cuz i been known to drain the three...

Thursday, June 11, 2009

for love or academia? an intriguing would you rather...

would you rather...



score 15oo on your SAT's in high school (1600 being perfect),


or


be able to date whomever you wanted in high school?


i'm thinking most of you are like me and will pick the latter choice... so if you can muster up the courage write down your dream girl or guy from high school and tell me why they captured your heart... though i've got some fellow tigers as readers, chances are they will never read this blog!

i'll get it started. i would def choose to date whomever i wanted. as a freshman girl i was in love with russ taylor. i seriously thought he was it. we had math together (he was a junior, but academics were not his strength), and he treated me like his kid sister. i used to have this old shoebox called the "russ file" and i had really important things in there that he gave me. like his old grilled cheese wrapper from lunch, and the pot leaf he drew me for a report i did on medical marijauna (yes i was way ahead of the times, and he was really good at drawing pot leafs- so it was a win-win). anyhow, i don't know what happened to russ, he didn't finish high school, so the romance never came. but if i could go back in time, i would def forgo getting into stanford for the opportunity to date a high school dropout with a history of smoking drawing cannabis.

so lemme know where you at... got any russ taylors hiding in your closet?

Sunday, June 7, 2009

the princess and the penis... a tale by lily rodgers

i thought for my 99th post, why not get a little dicey? today as i was checking my email, my kids were wrestling and jumping on the bed in the office. they may or may not have both been naked, i was too busy on the computer to notice. in any event, ozzy eventually wandered off, and lily starts talking to me.



lily: "hey mom, i love wieners."

me: (half paying attention) "oh yeah, that's great honey."

lily: "no mom, i really love wieners. when ozzy and i were wrestling, i touched his a few times."



***disclaimer*** for those of you who don't have a boy and a girl, there is quite a bit of intrigue from both sexes on the other's "area." if they are naked, i usually here them squeaking "eeh, eeh, eeh" as they inch towards each other to touch. in the bath, there is usually at least one such incident. so needless to say, this conversation was not abnormal for me*****



me: (still not engaged) "oh yeah?"

lily: "mom, do you love wieners?"

me: "no, not really."

lily: "oh well i love wieners. i really love wieners, and disneyland the most."



my sweet daughter, who just had a mind blowing experience at disneyland for the first time. a place and day she equates with nothing, suddenly decides that "weiners" are on par...

dear god, pray for us...

Thursday, June 4, 2009

would you rather....

would you rather...



double date with barack and michelle....










or


will and jada?













now i'll admit, this is a real tough one. cuz, who doesn't totally heart the fresh prince, but on the other hand we have the president of the united states! i'm pretty torn... lemme know what you guys think, and of course why... then maybe i can make a decision!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

vanity strikes another would you rather....

gosh it sure seems like i'm on a vanity kick with my ol would you rather's... maybe it has to do with the fact that very shortly i turn 30, and every day i'm gaining more lbs with this biscuit growing inside me...
in any event, i reckon this one's for the ladies, and yes its vain, and likely totally out of the question for most of us, but its kind of fun to pretend. i'd say husbands could speak for their wives, but i really don't want to start any fights. so with that said, i'll spare you the picture associations...

would you rather....

get a tummy tuck

or

breast implants?

anyone who knows me, knows my answer... i'm out with it... so don't be shy (though i know you guys will). trust me, i won't hold it against you.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

disney.... hole







its been a good 10 years since i've been to disneyland. my recollections were obviously fond- after all its the happiest place on earth right? so when we decided to take lily for her 4th birthday, we wanted to be strategic. go in the middle of the week, not in the summer, don't bring oz, and get there about a week after the CDC declares a national pandemic. all of it came together relatively seamlessly. my mom agreed to watch oz despite her back injury from "showing off in aerobics," and a friend of a friend hooked us up with free tickets. lily was obviously very excited about the whole thing, but if you know lily, its pretty obvious what occupied most of our conversation leading up to disneyland... the princesses.

once we actually made it into the park, lily insisted that we first must go see snow white where she would "give her a big hug." we made our way to fantasyland and joined a line with about 67 other 3-6 yr old girls all on the verge of a melt due to the wait to actually interface with the princesses. after being in line for about 15 minutes, lily started to get whiny and hungry. we tried to feed her while we waited, but it seemed as though she was quickly getting over it. it was about that time that we received word that megan (shelley's friend) had arranged a private meeting with 2 princesses at 3:30.

okay, so how do you convey to your newly 4 yr old daughter that she is about to experience something very few get the privilege of. well the reality is, you don't. you take her on small world and wait it out. after some quality time in toon town, we made our way to fantasyland where we would be greeted by a 'brittany' who would be looking for us. now after my brief interaction with megan, i was really starting to understand the difference between management and peons at disneyland. 'brittany' though dressed in a cute dress, was still not management. she simply oversaw the princesses, who also despite thinking they run the place likely get paid minimum wage.

so lily gets all dudded out in a $30 ariel outfit (basically just a turquoise polyester nightgown), and brittany escorts us down to a secret door. we enter into a theatre area and then are taken into another door wherein sleeping beauty and snow white are just hanging out.

okay, here's where it gets intense. i've always been into the disney princesses, but i was never fanatic about them, however when i saw these two, i seriously felt like i was 5 again. they were so pretty and so real! lily immediately seized up, totally overwhelmed at the whole experience. so i was stuck with her on my lap in between snow white and briar rose, sweating profusely and feeling lets just say fat and ugly not like a princess. these girls amazed me. they seriously did not break character even for a minute. while lily was biding the time by stuffing her dress into her mouth out of sheer nervousness, i was stuck laughing awkwardly at the princesses chatty banter.









to give you an idea it went something like this:


snow white (sw): "lily, you remind of me of one of my most shy dwarfs, do you remember his name?"


lily: blank stare


me: laugh, "lils, answer snow white, who's super shy honey?"


lily: blank


sleeping beauty (sb): "oh i know snow white, its bashful isn't it?"


sleeping beauty and snow white continue this cheerful talk by discussing all the dwarf's and how silly they are...


when they finally realize she isn't going to speak, they turn to me. here's my moment:


sb: "so did you have to travel far to come visit us?"


me: "oh well not to far, we live near san luis obispo, it wasn't too bad, just some traffic."


sb: "yes well, traffic can be slow in those horse drawn carriages!"


.... really sleeping beauty, its clear that my daughter is not talking, you really can't break character for one minute to chat with me.... i'm not five, i know you're not real... i think.



anyway, this awkwardness (for me at least) went on for about 15 minutes. towards the end lily started telling me things to tell the princesses, but never actually addressed them directly. however when we were leaving ariel was coming down the stairs and asked lily if she had been in her closet (cause lily was wearing the ariel nightgown). lily got a kick out of that and actually looked her in the eye, smiled, and shook her head.



so there you have it, the rest of the day was filled with more rides, frozen lemonade and smiles. lily talked abundantly about the princess experience and even told me she wants to come back when she is 5 for a tea party with them, and then she won't be shy. i tried to explain that this was a once in a lifetime experience... but she disagreed.



i must say i wasn't expecting such a unique experience, and really i cannot express how thankful i was for megan to arrange that for us. it really was special, and i know lily will remember it forever. and if she tries to forget... we'll just show her this video and make her realize the shiz i go through for her.

enjoy.....






Thursday, May 21, 2009

don't judge me...

okay, so this 'would you rather' might be considered a bit vain if you choose a certain answer. i'm pretty confident that the majority of you will choose the latter, but seriously, just answer what first comes to your mind.

okay enough disclosure....

would you rather have your child be incredibly good looking, or incredibly smart?

if i can get 10 comments, i'll tell you what went through my mind.