goodbye girls

i was quite a bit older than my friends when you finally made your entrance.  i had been waiting, and waiting.

and

waiting.

like all middle school girls, i quickly realized popularity came from one tangible place.

the ta-ta's.

then one day you broke through like a seed bursting into a beautiful sunflower.  well maybe not so much a sunflower as a miniature rose.  in any event i kept waiting for you to make that significant spurt, but much like samantha baker on her 16th birthday,  i realized this was going to be one area god would not be generous with me with.

i won't lie and say it wasn't painful. getting messages written on calculators reading 55378008 (yes upside on a calculator its spells boobless- this was our version of texting) or overhearing, 'she's cute, but she's totally flat.'

flat...

the dreaded word of a high school girl.

and then one day i grew up, and realized guys aren't only interested in boobs.  (actually they are. in fact its ALL they are interested in, but if you are a young reader, i at least did my due diligence).

i got married, got pregnant (yes in that order) and one day i woke up, looked down and thought, 'so this is what all the fuss was about!'

yes, you were huge, beautiful, ginormous, buoyant and....

milky.

that's right.

leaking.  milk.  already.


and there wasn't even a baby.

though this was just the beginning of looks can be deceiving, it sure was enough to make any girl wonder what it would be like...

once the baby came, you began to change even more!  it was miraculous.  truly.  i came home from the hospital and within three days, i seriously was rivaling pam (minus the blond hair and botox).  when b caught sight of you, he practically passed out, but as he went in for a feel, he realized once again... you were not made for him.  hard as rocks and once again... the dreaded leak.

but then you regulated yourself, and we settled into a nice, confident size.  more than proportionate- generous even, and really just lovely.  hearing words like 'rack' instead of 'flat' or 'bijoingas' instead of 'flapjacks' was like music to my ears. you truly were a sight.

and so as our journey comes to a close, i just want to say--we had a good run thelma and louise, you ebbed and flowed so beautifully these last five years of pregnancy and nursing.  you fed my babies and loved my husband in a way he never thought he'd know.  you gave me a glimpse into a life i never thought i'd know...

and so now my little jahoobies, its time to say good bye.  as tali takes her final sips, we bid you farewell.  we've had an amazing run.  and though my badoinkies will once again deflate, i'll remember these years as the best of my life.

au revoir, girls... au revoir.

orphan sunday

sometimes i'm convinced that b and i became missionaries just by watching a video.  

even though one would hope this isn't entirely true, there is no doubt that there is great power in those little 5-8 minute videos set to music.  the images, the words, the music, all have an almost intoxicating effect on me.  and though i would never wish that anyone would make an emotional decision based on a movie, i do want to acknowledge their power.  

the reason i'm posting this video isn't to make you feel guilty or weepy, its to make you aware.  aware that the statistics are staggering.  aware that there is a real, concrete need, and i feel, responsibility.  a responsibility for people everywhere to know what is going on outside our white picket fences.  

this next sunday is orphan sunday.  as anna reminded me yesterday in her blog 'children don't get to choose the life they are born into.'  i know adoption isn't for everyone, there are times when i doubt whether or not its for me. but i do know this-- at the risk of sounding cheesy i will say that god LOVES these children.  like really loves them.  and there is no reason why each pair of piercing brown eyes you see in this video should not have a mom or dad that loves, cherishes, provides for and adores them.  

this video was made by a local couple here in SLO who brought their baby boy home two years ago. they made it for the agency we are using for our adoption and much of the footage is shot where our son will come from. 

its all kinds of AMAZING.  but i'm just warning you, it brings the tears in a big way.  tears of joy mostly, tears of  pain, but for me, mostly tears of anticipation.  i cannot wait to hold him.  

in any event, brace yourself.  its beautiful.

AAI Ethiopia from Holly Rodgers on Vimeo.

'one adoption won't change the world, but it will change the world for one child.' 

                                                                                   -AAI mission statement