first comes love...

this last summer b and i were part of two weddings.  

two very different weddings.  

it had been a long time since we had been in weddings.  it seemed like our first three years of marriage were sprinkled with them every few months.  so much so, that i think we got a bit jaded.  i found myself more caught up in the trivialities of the bridesmaid dresses, the flowers, the food, etc instead of the actual celebration itself.

i got married when i was 23 years old.  to say i understood what i was embarking upon would be a vast understatement.  three months before i graduated from college i found myself engaged with a fiance who was anticipating a wedding a mere six months away.  i threw myself right into the planning.  at the time, i'm sure if someone asked me if i knew what marriage meant and the commitment i was making i would've said yes.   but it really wasn't until just recently that i began to get a sense of an even bigger meaning.

about a week before my good friend jenny's wedding i had this crazy dream. 


i was standing out in front of a high school friend's house that had a huge courtyard in front of it.  jenny and jonathon came around the corner in a black car. they parked and started walking up the courtyard.  they didn't know i was there, and as far as i could tell no one else was around.  they were holding hands as they walked the lengthy and winding pathway to the front door.  suddenly on either side of them these angelic beings appeared and began to sing.  not like hear comes the bride, but a sort of heavenly chorus-- a melody that brings you to your knees in awe, something that doesn't happen this side of heaven.  jenny and jonathon just kept walking as these angels surrounded them almost not really noticing.  i, however was blown away.  


i never have dreams like that. my dreams usually involve my teeth dissolving, or the odd flying dream and once in awhile a good LSD dream (those acronyms our known by only a select few).  so to have this crazy spiritual dream that really was just normal enough to be potentially real, i knew it had to mean something. 


the crazy thing was, was that in the dream i knew it wasn't so much about jenny and jonathon.  cuz it has always been obvious that god was pleased with their union. i, on the other hand was privileged to understand what it really meant as i stood watching them walk amongst these angels.  it was as though for the first time in my life i saw how much god LOVES marriage.  


god loves marriage.


saying that god loves marriage to some of you may sound pretty strange, to others of you its totally obvious.  the way god and jesus talk about marriage in the bible leaves very little room for interpretation.  god esteems it in a way that is almost supernatural.  it is something to be treasured and protected at all cost.  when brandon and i made our vows we included the phrase, 'i will never divorce you.'  at the time making that vow to one another, our family, friends, and god honestly didn't seem that crazy.  we were in love, why would we ever get divorced?


but time goes on, and life gets a lot harder. kids, money, temptations - all of it can seem suffocating.  its been hard to see our friends struggle, its been even harder to walk through our own struggles.  


but after that dream, and with a little help from the ol' love dare, i feel like god has given me a picture of marriage like i've never known.  in that dream, to see god so pleased and so glorified in 'man's union' humbled me.  as a christian, it is our life ambition to glorify god, to know that he is glorified in marriage is revelatory to me.  it inspires and encourages me...  and especially challenges me.  so as i embark upon eight years with brandon, i want to celebrate not only our milestone, but marriage itself and how it can glorify the god we serve.


watch out, i may just slap an ol 'i love my wife' bumper sticker on b's honda.  cuz that's totally hot.  and i'm just that crazy.