Friday, August 29, 2008

melikey veep palin

i couldn't resist- i've held off for awhile though. as the tear ran down my face at the democratic convention watching my homegirl rock it, it quickly dried when my second least favorite old white guy announced his new hot number. can you even believe it? i guess they signed her up to draw women voters and guess who just got sucked right in.. this is one wild election. what's not to like about this palin? she's a mom of 3? 4? no 5 kids! one of which with special needs. her eldest son enlisted in the army, her husband is part eskimo and some crazy ass snowmobiler- and she poses for vogue in north face clothes. did i mention she's a woman- and she looks like tina fey? come on! the feminist in me's gettin all fired up. my only criticsm thus far is her seemingly weak stance on the environment- but hey mccain's as green as they come right?
i'm just dying to know what's next... i guess all i know for now is that to run for office you need at leas one old white guy in the mix... how does an obama/palin ticket sound. too good to be true.
whadda yo thoughts?

Saturday, August 23, 2008

lily shawn liukin

i met this mom a couple years back who told me she was only the second craziest mom at her daughters gym (central coast gymnastics). i laughed to myself, afterall my daughter was only 9 months old at the time, and i really couldn't conceive of such mom fervor. however, it took me back to my own glory days of high school basketball and how my mom never missed one game.. ever. tournaments, C.I.F., all of it, she didn't miss a beat. i didn't think much of it at the time, but now as my children get older and i see them next to other kids, whether it be at the park, the pool, or even gymnastics, i can't help but wonder??
i'm sure it doesn't help that i've been totally consumed by the olympics the last couple weeks. staying up late, TiVo-ing at my in-laws, going online- i'm obsessed. there's just something about world class athletes that gets me all warm and tingly. whether its imagining myself becoming an olympic marathon runner (afterall they prime in their 30's), my daughter following after nadia, or maybe even an ozzie phelps- i want it all! i devour the bio's, i listen intently -searching for any clues from their childhood that might rival my own kids. i imagine myself debbie phelps style- cameras flashing to her every other minute, or maybe i'll be like nastia's mom, wandering the streets of beijing during the all-around, because the pressure's just to consuming. in any event, i'm there and i'm proud as can be cause my kid is someone.
which leads me to my own kids. now i'll be the first to admit that rose-colored glasses don't keep me from seeing my kids faults- shoot i've got a magnifying glass up in here- observing every little flaw and feat. my kids didn't walk at 10 months, i practically have to push them down the slide, and there will be no diving and no dunking. when it comes to sports, lily just wants to discuss what she will wear. let me share a recent conversation with you..
lily- "hey mom, remember when those cheerleaders washed our car?" (it was a fundraiser for mb cheer)
me- "yeah babe, that was cool." (it was like a year ago)
lily- "yeah, i liked what they were wearing. mom, were you a cheerleader?"
me- laughing, "no, i definitely was not a cheerleader, i played sports- like basketball and soccer"
lily- quiet for awhile, then with all the authority in the world "mom, cheerleading is a sport!"

and oz, he's a whole nother trip- the kid would rather tweak on little matchbox cars then push them. he has an unhealthy obsession with ceiling fans and light switches, and when he recently discovered b's remote control helicopter, he sat for 25 solid minutes tweaking on all the propellers and such.
in all honesty (sniff, sniff) i don't see any olympians coming from this house- yet once again i'm reminded that these little people really are who they are. much as i try, and boy will i try to influence them, they will be their own people.

and that's all okay, cause it often floors me at how desperately i want them to be happy- even if it means oz's greatest aspiration will be being an engineer like his ol man, and lil making the final cut for project runway. whatever the case, we'll be proud, cause afterall they're ours and our love for them conquers all. but it doesn't mean i can't dream- just last week as lily mounted the bar, i swear i saw even for just a glimpse a little mary lou in the making, and i knew without a doubt i would and will be that mom.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

if you don't learn how to swim, you will drown and DIE!!

i know it sounds harsh, but desperate times call for desperate measures. we are currently in our own private hell called swim lessons. summer after summer, i put myself through this torture. i'm not sure what motivates me to try this every year. perhaps it has something to do with the title, or maybe its just what you do with kids in the summertime. in any event, my kid is that kid. you know the one that screeches and whines just getting in the pool... never mind that once she's in you have to hold her with a death grip just to quell the panic. day after day (they go for 10 long days, and we've only finished day 3) it seems to get progressively worse. the first day she seemed a lot more confident than last year, perhaps that's because last years swim lessons consisted of me, and the teacher in the water each time, and her barely leaving the steps. she wouldn't even let the teacher hold her... why you ask... he was a boy. this year i signed her up with her little friend and specifically requested a female teacher, with the hopes of some lasting change in her swim career. i was dead wrong, let me just set the stage for the first day.
we get there and and there are like 12 kids all with goggles, swim caps and speedos (maybe not the caps). the instructor says ok, jump in and lets get our ears wet!" as if that's perfectly normal. i'm like, are you f-in kidding me? i didn't get my ears wet till i was six! perhaps that's where she gets it. in any event this class was def out of our league, so we transferred to the mommy and me, where we were once again resigned to squirt toys and sing wheels on the bus. i'm thinking, i paid $150 for what exactly? so now i've got a crying lily being carried by the teacher over to me and oz in the other class. so how am i supposed to do this? i turn to the steps and see my mom wading into the water in capris and a collared shirt. at first i'm mortified, then i realize that i'm not 16 and really, she's basically saving the day. again. so we end the first day with the two most timid kids in the world. i leave feeling discouraged. but resolve tomorrow will be better.
not so much.
maybe worse.
so i run into a mom i know at traders on tues- you know just enough removed that they don't really know how crazy my kids are. i'm still in my suit from the earlier fiasco so they ask what i'm up to. i start to go into the whole shebang about how horrible swim has been and blah blah blah whats wrong with my kids. she just looks at me with that phony empathy face, you know that smile like, "i don't have any idea what you're talking about!" after i realize i'm not in a therapy session, i snap out of it and say, "so how are you guys anyway?" she says, "oh we're good, yeah we did swim lessons early this summer." me, "oh cool, how'd it go?" "great, gosh little sara is just a fish, you're lucky they're cautious, that's just being safe. sara is going under and jumping in, she's fearless out there!" me, "that's awesome! great, good to see you..."
back bragger i mumble as i walk away. which leads me to my next annoying mom issue.
it really could use its own separate post, but i'll touch on it here. the back brag. let me give you a perfect example from my own life (i have millions).

back bragging mom (bbm)- so how are things going? gosh oz sure is getting big! is he walking yet?
me- uh, no, not yet.
bbm- gosh, how old is he now?
me- (reluctantly) he's what, 15 months (really 15.5)
bbm- wow, you're lucky though. little petey's been not just walking, but running since 10 months! we are just chasing him everywhere.
me- yeah i guess.
there's your basic back brag. that one's a pretty natural one, but its really good when you get someone doing everything in their power to steer the conversation to brag about their kid. it's like me saying to a mom having trouble potty training her toddler... "gosh you're lucky little tommy's 4 and still not potty trained, lily was done with diapers before she was 2.5! what a pain it was always having to take her potty and not buy diapers.
come on.
the things us moms do and think!
so anyway, i apologize if i come off to cynical, i guess i'm just a little wounded about my non-amphibious kids. just another time i'm reminded that i have no control over these guys... they are who they are, one of them being a prima donna. in any event i'll keep you posted on the outcome, tomorrow is "dunking day." that should go over well uh?