friday night musings...

there are times when it feels like so much work.

most days really.

i was reminded of how not much work it is on recent trip to disneyland.  it was reminiscent of a long weekend we had in san diego before tali was born.  its that point when your older kid(s) -- i'd say 3.5 and older-  when they can use the bathroom by them self, or when they can feed them self without covering their hair in yogurt and peanut butter or when they can play and entertain them self for longer than 10 mins.  or better yet when they are totally capable of watching tv for 4 hours straight (not that this ever happens at my house).
its when you finally, finally get a break. you know they aren't gonna wake up in the night, and you actually kind of know what to expect each day.  it's a great time in child rearing.
then you have another one and you're like, i can do this, i've done it before right?!  but its that second or third or fourth that's the game changer.

tali is my game changer.

and though most days i long for the hours of solitude my 4 and 5.5 yr old would bring, there are more times when i'm reminded why i couldn't live without her.  like when i see her running cars with oz, or when i see her crazy hair pop out of the crib each morning-- it's moments like that i know that every lost minute to myself is worth it.  she's worth it.
when dr. bravo asked me last week at her well baby check up if i had any questions or concerns, i looked at tali with dopey eyes and asked, 'yeah, actually i do.  is there anyway i could clone her?'  he laughed politely, but the reality is there has never been a second when i've regretted her.  through all the work and lost reading, tv, blogging, and napping, she's been worth it.
cuz even when the days seem so long, there are nights that seem so right.  when i see lily pushing tali in the doll stroller, or when tali and oz wrestle all crazy, or when i see all three of my kids dance and sing their hearts out to jb's baby, or when my son out of nowhere as i put his jammies on says, 'jesus, please help my boo boo not hurt when i get in the bath'- its those times when i feel like i could be like my aunt merilyn and have 13 kids.
it's nights like tonight that i can, and can't wait for my baby boy. i can wait to capitalize on those free moments of reading and resting and just being, but even more i can't wait to breathe in the sweet smell of morning on him, or see his smile as he gets pushed in a swing for the first time.

kids change you forever, for good.  as my dad told me yesterday, the 30's are the best.  your at the top of your game.  you've got your career (brandon), you've got young kids who adore you, and you've got a super hot wife (okay, so maybe i improv for brandon) but in any event, tonight my heart is filled with joy and excitement.  in the words of a dear friend,... the best is yet to come.

general maintenance

i just wanted to take a second to run a few things by you guys.

first, i've been realizing how few pictures and videos i've been putting on the blog lately.  part of that is because ever since our camera fell in the toilet when lily was taking a picture of ozzy's poop, it just hasn't been the same.  the pictures it takes are blurry and generally crap.  and any other pictures i take are on my phone which are also kinda crap too because there is no flash.  the combination of the above, and just the basic logistics of having a camera with you when you have 3 kids have all made for me sucking at capturing my life.  so with that said, it is my goal to get more pictures on this blog!  this is my life journal these days, and frankly i too get tired of just my words.

which leads me to my second point....  i know a lot of bloggers who don't allow anonymous comments.  mostly due to people hiding behind anonymity to be mean.  thankfully i've had very little of that in my blog. in fact i kind of like the drama of anonymous comments... everyone trying to figure out who they are and so on.  but as they have been coming more frequently, i would just ask that if you feel like you want to be mean,  please send me your frustrations privately.  let me reiterate -- i haven't been offended by any of the recent anonymous comments, but i just get a little worried that it might be heading that way the more 'controversial' i get.  and lord knows i don't want to have to tone anything down for fear i might offend someone!  that's what blogs are for right?!

lastly, it's been really cool for me to be able to share our heart for adoption with all of you.  the response has been tremendous.  it's been especially neat to get personal emails or messages from you wanting to know more.  in the midst of all my rants and raves and general rumblings in my head, it has occurred to me that i haven't really taken the time to address some of the more basic questions about adoption.  people have sent me emails asking me lots of different things, and as you can imagine it can be sort of time consuming to answer all the questions, so on b's suggestion i want to have a special FAQ adoption post.

so, here's where you come in.  if you have a question or two about adoption you would like to have the answer to, i'd love to be able to use a blog post to share our answer/experience.  some of the more common questions i plan to address are,

'what agency are you using and why?'  

'why are you adopting internationally and not domestically?'

'how many times will you have to go to ethiopia?'

'what age/gender are you adopting and why?'

those are just some off the top of my head.  if you have any others, i'd love to be able to answer them.  so feel free to post a comment, or send me an email with a question and i'll try and get these answers up in the next week or so.  

in the meantime i'll leave you with some pictures of my babies.