in process part 5

i thought i'd take a minute to update y'all on whats been happening with our adoption.  if we're friends on fb or in real life, you might already have a pretty good idea, but for the rest of you here's a wee update. 

the biggest of the big is that we are finally, officially, DTE (dossier to ethiopia) status.  as i explained before, once your dossier (big, crazy ass bunch of papers detailing every corner of your life) goes to ethiopia, you are officially on the waiting list.  so with that said, all we have left to do is wait... awhile.  like at least a year.  
its funny though, cuz as much as i long for the day that he comes home, god has given me an impressive patience and peace about it.  for the first time possibly ever, i really feel like i can trust his timing to be perfect.  it also helps that besides pining away, there really is nothing i can do to speed up the process.
its been fun around the house lately.  we've officially named him, so its been super cool to hear the kids talk about him like he's already part of the family.  lily asking me to buy tom's for her with the request that the pair that goes to a kid without shoes would be to a kid in ET who happens to be her brother (the girl will do anything for charity shoes )... or oz reminding me not to forget to pray for his  brother at night before bed.  as much as i know it won't be easy peasy once he gets here, i know that God's grace is and will be sufficient for us.  and today, that's enough. so if you find yourself wondering what's up with our adoption any time in the next year, just know nothing really.... we are just waiting... 

it's a bit out of context, but i was going through my adoption journal the other day and found this entry. it's kind of random, but really reveals my heart and the way in which the process has stirred so many feelings and emotions...

8/8/10 i was out running today and i got to thinking...

i'm not sure how old i was when i realized that my life isn't like the movies. for a long time, i was pretty sure i was molly ringwald (but hotter:) and my blane or jake would come rescue me. it might have been after my first broken heart, when i honestly felt like i could never love again, let alone even get out of bed. the depth of my pain felt so suffocating -- surely this isn't what john hughes saw for my life.

and then i grew up and fell in love with a man that couldn't hold a candle to jake. and we dreamed about what our life would be like and the little mini-us's we'd create. they's have blue eyes and brown hair and be so funny and outgoing and well behaved (one can dream right?)  b and i would watch movies like the family stone and think about having a big, happy, slightly eccentric family...
and then the day came when i held my firstborn in my hands and it was then and there that i knew i had never known a love like this.  yet somehow, miraculously i did. 3 times.  and in my heart i know that i can do it again.  not just cuz children make us smile, and feel whole and happy, but because they make us better. they make us want to try harder, to love deeper, to take bigger risks.  because when we look in their eyes we see a hope and an idea that really anything is possible.

i know when i hold him in my arms, that feeling will come again. not because he's mine, but because he's God's and the day i was born, God knew that my lastborn son would complete our family in a way i never could have dreamed. i cannot wait to see the magic in those deep, dark eyes.

 

think we can squeeze one more on there?